Dealing With Rejection

We’ve all been rejected in one way or another haven’t we?  It’s bad enough we have to deal with rejection in real life but this little, well-known occurance happens in Second Life too.  You’ll never be immune to rejection no matter how many lives you have (or had).

So how do you deal with it?  Is there a secret remedy?  There is no cure-all for rejection and everyone handles it differently.  Some may sit and stew for days, weeks or months while others quickly brush themselves off and go about their usual business.

The reason I bring this topic up is because as an SL model, rejection is something you have to deal with.  Yes, there are other SL professions that can have rejection staring at you in the face, as well, but we’re here to talk about modeling in SL.

Recently, I was at a casting call for a fashion show where I ran into another model I’ve worked with in the past since we both belong to some of the same agencies.  Making small talk, I had asked her if she had gone to see ‘Agency X’s’ (protecting the innocent here) show earlier that day which, by the way, was outstanding.  She replied “No, I had tried out for that show and they didn’t pick me.”

Aside from not really knowing how to reply to that at the time, I let it go.  As usual, though, I thought it would be a good topic to write about.  It also made me remember a show I had cast for, for a particular agency, in which I hadn’t made the final cut.  Another very good friend of mine did make the cut for that particular show and I realized I had a few things to ponder.

  1. Simply put, I was rejected.  They didn’t cast me!  Huge blow to the ego! What did I do wrong? How can I fix it?
  2. My very good friend was in this show and I wanted to support her by cheering her on.  I’d have rather supported her backstage as we each waited to walk on the runway though.

The more I thought about it, I realized I’d rather hold my head high than succumb to the despair over being rejected by the casting director and designer.

On the day of the show, I made sure to not only dress to the nines but to also say hello to the agency owner, casting director and the designer.  I felt this would let them know that even in the face of rejection, I was still confident in my abilities as an SL model and maybe they’d remember that at the next casting.

Weeks later, at another show for another agency and designer, that designer who rejected me was there.  She IM’d me and said hello before chatting a bit about the show we were currently watching.  To this day, I may not be what she would look for to showcase her designs but she’ll never forget me or my confidence.

You must learn to swallow your pride sometimes and know that being rejected isn’t always all about you.  When it does happen, transform those negative feelings into positive and learn from it.  Instead of wasting energy on sulking, exude confidence!  Wouldn’t you rather be remembered for that instead of for harboring grudges?

I would!

About Linda Reddevil

I'm a Second Life® model and stylist who enjoys blogging and photography in the virtual game.
This entry was posted in Beginner, Etiquette, Perspective, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Dealing With Rejection

  1. ~TLC~ says:

    Linda ~

    There are so many reasons you are my friend but one of them is definitely because of your wisdom! I appreciate this post for several reasons. 1) It’s a great perspective on how to handle rejection. As you know I’ve dealt with it in various ways – some not so pretty lmao – but I like to think that I am at peace with it whenever it happens in modeling and in ad sales for that matter…. What I am inspired by is your persistence: “dressing to the nines, greeting the designer, etc.” that is confidence and persistence and really some damn savvy strategy.

    It is sad that anyone would ‘boycott’ a fashion show because they were not cast. That is simply childish and I feel sorry for someone so bitter. Perhaps it is easy for me since I have (admittedly) focused my energies away from modeling BUT one of the most enjoyable aspects of the modeling community to ME was the sisterhood I found. So your advice is not only good for ones’ own career but it also is measurement of loyalty to fellow sister models. If someone cannot be loyal to their peers, how can they be loyal to a brand or an employer? Ok too deeply philosophical.

    The second thing I get out of your post… I REALLY need to practice dressing appropriately to fashion shows.* Wear the designer if possible, style well and “primpeccably”, and within reasonable ARC. Regardless of anyone’s beliefs in the cause of lag, it is just downright RUDE to have high ARC at a show unless you are the designer, model, (with the show) or agency owner.

    *My deep apology to anyone if you noticed my being underdressed at your show this weekend. :p My time management has been hurting a lot in-world recently. Styling becomes last priority below serving my clients and responding to friends. Of course if you didn’t notice me – GREAT – nevermind.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s